The sad thing for me is to see how dogs have become a substitute for children. Walking daily through the huge garden park in our Spanish city (I won't mention the name, we don't need any more tourists!) the ratio of young women with dogs to those with children is often 30 to 1 or more. Half a century ago the ratio would have been reversed.
As for me, I'm not pissed off, just a bit sad to see that so many women choose not to have children. As for you, judging by your reaction, it's probably a good thing you don't have kids.
In my neighborhood in DC (which is full of young professionals), there’s so many childless couples out in the evenings walking their four-legged baby substitutes. Grim
Get a dog. You will have human connections over your life. But a dog is something different.
When Philip Pullman wrote the northern lights trilogy he constructed the idea of a part of your soul which was part of your nature, and representative but oddly separate and individual. A close companion and at the same time a facet of your nature.
A dog is the closest thing you will ever have to that and as long as you treat that privilege as what it is then it is an incredibly deep experience. I have children, and I know I will see my dog (hopefully) die before my children. But that finiteness of life is the thing which makes it so valuable.
Ricky Gervais noted it once: you have a dog and get 15 years of joy and then sadness for life. That’s the deal. And it’s amazing.
Everyday probably twice a day I walk my dog (Lucy the Labrador) across the fields around my village. I think. I enjoy watching her. She follows and anticipates me. Through baking sun, rain or snow.
It’s an incredible relationship, and I know it is finite.
But the thing is?
Dog’s don’t understand that. They are just living life.
Be a dog. Enjoy the moment. The ball throw. The rampaging through wheat. Chomping down dinner.
Be a dog and appreciate a dog for its short but beautiful lifespan. And then think about yours which is, in the same context, extremely short.
They love and embrace life. You live only a few decades longer. Do the same. And don’t feel regret for them. They had the best times.
Good god! It wasn’t meant to! It’s a life well lived and loved! Dog’s lives are incredibly brief and we connect with them. Ours are longer but not by much. But it’s all about appreciating the moment and *not* thinking about the big picture. It’s about the intense moments where the individuals we intersect with (dog or human) and enjoying it.
The thing with dogs are they regard us as pack. And are bonded. They will love you almost unconditionally and we have a duty to do the same back. And yes they will depart at some point, but so shall we from our wider pack (on an extended timeline) but that’s okay. But better to live as a dog then mourn future departure. And I’ve got a daft Labrador wanting to lick my sweaty feet right now.
So lovely and true. My life, my kindness to my fellow humans owes something to the dogs in my life. I love my time walking my dog. He gets me up early and we often watch the sun rise together. He sniffs and tracks his outdoor gossip of scents while I wonder at this wonderful creature in my life.
Certainly a child is an amazing part of being human and I am saddened by the lack of children in so many young people’s lives. Dogs are not a substitute for the love of a child or human partner but they do allay the sadness of so many people who lack either. I like to think dogs and humans bring out the best in each other.
We are fortunate that such noble and goofy creatures are in our lives but we need to take that debt seriously and give them the best possible life for the brief time allotted to them. I appreciate the thoughtful heartfelt quality of this essay but I have to come to the opposite conclusion. To dogs and their humans!
Have increasingly noticed 2 kid families getting a dog once their kids get a bit older and the hard work of raising young kids starts to slow down. It’s like they’ve got more love to give but cant quite commit to a 3rd human.
We got a dog for our four kids so we could all have someone to talk about without them knowing what we were saying. The dog required a lot of attention so we got a second dog for the first dog. Mostly worked out.
Hello, as someone who currently has three children and three dogs (aka ‘the optimal ratio’), but loves his children much more than his dogs, it is my opinion that dogs are always worth it. I recently wrote about this on here at length and part of it made everyone in my house cry.
To paraphrase Churchill, if you're 35 and you have a dog, you don't have a brain; if you're 65 and you don't have a dog, you don't have a heart. I would say, "may Kaiser's memory be a blessing," but (1) that seems sacrilegious towards human loved ones, and (2) this essay has already made Kaiser's memory a blessing for your readers, including me.
I'm always amazed at how many other parents I see with dogs. You're about to be as busy as you'll ever be - don't add extra chores to your life. You might also find that some of your "I want a dog" energy is actually "I want to look after a small cute thing", which you'll get your fill of from your kids.
Huskies, malamutes and their like are tough. They’re pretty dumb, theyre strong as hell and you have to be on them as a good trainer. They need to pull and work.
I don’t look at breeds when I get dogs either. I’ve had them in my life since childhood. I need the love, pandemonium and exercise they provide. Life would be empty without them. They take a piece of your heart when they go… but a pup brings one to replace it. You just might need to sand and polish it a bit to fit.
I’m sure others have noted this, but dogs in strollers/prams seem to be a clear sign that the woman wanted a baby instead, and sadly I see a lot more of this these days.
But in general I reckon kids and dogs are complementary (breed matters too).
I think people who treat thier dog like a child are idiots. Who signs up to bury thier children? I am in the odd position of loving Dogs and Cats and never wanting to get one. After losing my childhood pets I cannot bear the idea of watching them die and just replacing them.
Having a dog has done wonders for my social life. The other day I ate a vegetable stew a woman I'd met walking my dog gave me. You have to get the right kind though. Sight hounds are usually quiet and have a good temperament.
Kipling had a few thoughts on the matter:
There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie—
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find—it’s your own affair—
But… you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone—wherever it goes—for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long—
So why in—Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
Wonderful. Thanks
Outstanding. Thanks
that’s really good
Yes.
The sad thing for me is to see how dogs have become a substitute for children. Walking daily through the huge garden park in our Spanish city (I won't mention the name, we don't need any more tourists!) the ratio of young women with dogs to those with children is often 30 to 1 or more. Half a century ago the ratio would have been reversed.
I have zero children and 9 dogs and I love that it pisses people like you off 🖤
As for me, I'm not pissed off, just a bit sad to see that so many women choose not to have children. As for you, judging by your reaction, it's probably a good thing you don't have kids.
I can't stand them!!! So yes, it's the best decision I have ever made
Absolutely. Frankly, I always thought children were dog substitutes.
i had dogs before children, and I prefer dogs, all kinds, any time.
In my neighborhood in DC (which is full of young professionals), there’s so many childless couples out in the evenings walking their four-legged baby substitutes. Grim
Some couples consider dogs a 'starter' child. Not the worst.
Others really are compensating. Know them by the baby-talk! Avoid if possible. But if the dog is cute, catch a scratch and a pat and be on your way.
It is possible some of those women have children and are just currently walking their dog, since dogs to need to be walked.
Dogs are great. Kids are great. Have both!
My dog was the gateway drug for having a kid. Dog with no kid == misguided nurture instinct. Dog with kid == magic of watching them grow up together.
And there is such a thing as "too much dog".
Get a dog. You will have human connections over your life. But a dog is something different.
When Philip Pullman wrote the northern lights trilogy he constructed the idea of a part of your soul which was part of your nature, and representative but oddly separate and individual. A close companion and at the same time a facet of your nature.
A dog is the closest thing you will ever have to that and as long as you treat that privilege as what it is then it is an incredibly deep experience. I have children, and I know I will see my dog (hopefully) die before my children. But that finiteness of life is the thing which makes it so valuable.
Ricky Gervais noted it once: you have a dog and get 15 years of joy and then sadness for life. That’s the deal. And it’s amazing.
Everyday probably twice a day I walk my dog (Lucy the Labrador) across the fields around my village. I think. I enjoy watching her. She follows and anticipates me. Through baking sun, rain or snow.
It’s an incredible relationship, and I know it is finite.
But the thing is?
Dog’s don’t understand that. They are just living life.
Be a dog. Enjoy the moment. The ball throw. The rampaging through wheat. Chomping down dinner.
Be a dog and appreciate a dog for its short but beautiful lifespan. And then think about yours which is, in the same context, extremely short.
They love and embrace life. You live only a few decades longer. Do the same. And don’t feel regret for them. They had the best times.
This post made me tremendously sad.
Good god! It wasn’t meant to! It’s a life well lived and loved! Dog’s lives are incredibly brief and we connect with them. Ours are longer but not by much. But it’s all about appreciating the moment and *not* thinking about the big picture. It’s about the intense moments where the individuals we intersect with (dog or human) and enjoying it.
The thing with dogs are they regard us as pack. And are bonded. They will love you almost unconditionally and we have a duty to do the same back. And yes they will depart at some point, but so shall we from our wider pack (on an extended timeline) but that’s okay. But better to live as a dog then mourn future departure. And I’ve got a daft Labrador wanting to lick my sweaty feet right now.
So lovely and true. My life, my kindness to my fellow humans owes something to the dogs in my life. I love my time walking my dog. He gets me up early and we often watch the sun rise together. He sniffs and tracks his outdoor gossip of scents while I wonder at this wonderful creature in my life.
Certainly a child is an amazing part of being human and I am saddened by the lack of children in so many young people’s lives. Dogs are not a substitute for the love of a child or human partner but they do allay the sadness of so many people who lack either. I like to think dogs and humans bring out the best in each other.
We are fortunate that such noble and goofy creatures are in our lives but we need to take that debt seriously and give them the best possible life for the brief time allotted to them. I appreciate the thoughtful heartfelt quality of this essay but I have to come to the opposite conclusion. To dogs and their humans!
Lovely. thanks.
Sorry to hear man.
Have increasingly noticed 2 kid families getting a dog once their kids get a bit older and the hard work of raising young kids starts to slow down. It’s like they’ve got more love to give but cant quite commit to a 3rd human.
We got a dog for our four kids so we could all have someone to talk about without them knowing what we were saying. The dog required a lot of attention so we got a second dog for the first dog. Mostly worked out.
Having a third child is also a financial commitment into the far future, in a way that a dog is not.
Sorry for your loss dude. Condolences. I hope you and the family are well despite this.
Thanks man. Hope you've been well!
I'm good thanks. Living in Londonistan... Let's touch base soon!
Hello, as someone who currently has three children and three dogs (aka ‘the optimal ratio’), but loves his children much more than his dogs, it is my opinion that dogs are always worth it. I recently wrote about this on here at length and part of it made everyone in my house cry.
I should say yes 6 kids would be better, but also all my kids are currently hormonal teenagers and the dogs are just so nice to me every day….
What a blessing
Nice. But better than having 4 or 5 or 6 kids instead?
To paraphrase Churchill, if you're 35 and you have a dog, you don't have a brain; if you're 65 and you don't have a dog, you don't have a heart. I would say, "may Kaiser's memory be a blessing," but (1) that seems sacrilegious towards human loved ones, and (2) this essay has already made Kaiser's memory a blessing for your readers, including me.
❤️
I'm always amazed at how many other parents I see with dogs. You're about to be as busy as you'll ever be - don't add extra chores to your life. You might also find that some of your "I want a dog" energy is actually "I want to look after a small cute thing", which you'll get your fill of from your kids.
100%
Mature, insightful, practical, masculine.
Sorry for your loss - but I still think you are right.
Huskies, malamutes and their like are tough. They’re pretty dumb, theyre strong as hell and you have to be on them as a good trainer. They need to pull and work.
I don’t look at breeds when I get dogs either. I’ve had them in my life since childhood. I need the love, pandemonium and exercise they provide. Life would be empty without them. They take a piece of your heart when they go… but a pup brings one to replace it. You just might need to sand and polish it a bit to fit.
Sorry to hear about your dog.
Maybe it’s time for another kid.
I’m sure others have noted this, but dogs in strollers/prams seem to be a clear sign that the woman wanted a baby instead, and sadly I see a lot more of this these days.
But in general I reckon kids and dogs are complementary (breed matters too).
Always time for another kid!
I think people who treat thier dog like a child are idiots. Who signs up to bury thier children? I am in the odd position of loving Dogs and Cats and never wanting to get one. After losing my childhood pets I cannot bear the idea of watching them die and just replacing them.
Having a dog has done wonders for my social life. The other day I ate a vegetable stew a woman I'd met walking my dog gave me. You have to get the right kind though. Sight hounds are usually quiet and have a good temperament.