You mentioned auto erotic asphyxiation later in your comments but you conclude that it only applies to men. While the phenomenon may be more common in men, it exists in women as well.
My husband's college girlfriend asked to be choked. They were both sexually inexperienced at the time, but she requested it because holding her breathe when…
You mentioned auto erotic asphyxiation later in your comments but you conclude that it only applies to men. While the phenomenon may be more common in men, it exists in women as well.
My husband's college girlfriend asked to be choked. They were both sexually inexperienced at the time, but she requested it because holding her breathe when masturbating helped trigger her orgasms. They were in college in the early 90s, long before choking became popular in porn. This is of course purely anecdotal, but it's more plausible that a minority of women are sexually aroused by choking than the assertion that choking is solely a porn phenomenon and no women seek it out on their own.
I think you're right. I also hope the women who try it because of porn and don't gain erotic satisfaction from it refrain or refuse it in future. Personally, if anyone tried to choke me regardless of context, I'd start kicking and punching like my life depended on it!
I wish, but I think at this point it is a fad... so much sexual behavior of the last 40 years or so, is related to fads in pornography! they filter down through society until you have middle school girls doing things that used to be done only by hardened prostitutes or porn actresses.
It seems like every decade or so, the standard gets ramped up... so that it filters down through first adults viewing the porn, then to young people and then to teens, high schools, middle schools and so on... remember that today, with smartphones, even elementary school age children see porn... I believe studies say by 7 or 8 years old.
If you see this at 8 in 3rd grade, and this is your introduction to sex... rough stuff, choking, etc.... will you come to see that as a normal expression of sexuality? vs. a kink? without the maturity to realize how dangerous it could be?
Like you said, I would refuse it and be angry if anyone tried it. But Im a mature adult. Would a naive kid or teenager be able to set healthy boundaries around this kind of sexual behavior?
I have 3 children ranging in age from 7 to 17. From my vantage point, the refusal of teens to seek out romantic relationships is just as serious a concern. It's the flip side of becoming sexually blase from porn consumption. Whether porn consumption pushes a teen in one direction or the other probably comes down to personality and upbringing - unfortunately, both paths are bad.
What you say, and it is a source of grief to me... I see young women especially who appear disinterested in dating (and here I mean straight heterosexual identifying girls) because the culture is so ANTI romantic and it is treated almost like a loserish behavior to want conventional dating. Kids seem to just hangout and engage in what is referred to as hook up sex.... yes, they are blasé and I think it stems from very early introduction to porn.
It cannot be overstated the degree to which young people (say, under 25 or GenZ) have grown up with smartphones and instant access to things like 24/7 pornography. Many parents are in total denial of this; in fact when I suggest that maybe a 7 year old doesn't need their own iPhone... it is ME who gets the stink eye and reminders that if kids do not have smartphones, they wont succeed at school or get high tech jobs as adults (!).
But in fact, it is NOT doing that (preparing kids for high tech) but is a gateway into stuff that no 2nd or 3rd grader should EVER see. And it is not just sexual things, it is also disgusting violent stuff.... recently, I was told by a middle schooler about a video online (since taken down) of a man stuffing a kitten into a garbage disposal.
With the recent issues over Pride parades... many parents objected to the nudity and erotic displays in a public parade, and the DEFENDERS said that :: well it is OK because little kids SEE WORSE STUFF EVERY DAY ON THEIR PHONES and are already aware of sexuality, nudity, erotic dancing, twerking ::.... so a segment of our society is not merely OK with this, but thinks it is a good thing.
When I wrote about the refusal to seek romantic relationships, I meant that my oldest children seem to be on their way to becoming voluntary celibates (volcels??) rather than that they are separating romance from sex.
We finally gave our middle child a phone when she turned 13 last year. This meant her 16 y.o. brother got his first smart phone then as well. It sounds ok until you realize the 16 y.o. hadn't requested a phone because he was already online all the time because of his computer use. ☹
In retrospect, I should have pushed harder and placed strict limitations on screen time with our older children. We're trying to do better with our youngest, but of course, she's been asking for a phone since she was 5. 🤦🏻♀️
That is even worse than I thought but yeah, I can see it. I do see my grandkids (who are ages 19 and 21) doing some of this. They dont have the interest in dating that I had at that age, nor even their parents. They are far more involved in social media and video gaming... they have zero interest in outdoor activities, sports, hiking/camping but prefer to stay indoors on screens. They were like this even at 6 or 7 years old.
It is really almost impossible to deny kids phones starting in middle school, because the SCHOOLS (after banning phones for years) decided to go whole hog into having homework and class information ALL on the phone and nowhere else. Without a phone, you would be unable to do homework, upload it or download instructions, calendars, etc. The teachers have bought into this 1000%.
This means every kid has a phone on them IN CLASS all the time, so they can text and look at ... whatever, right in class. Nobody stops them. They can also take photos and videos, very surreptitiously... which has many problems, including sexting.
And most parents buy right into this, as they are equally addicted to THEIR phones. If the children have phones, then the parents dont have to spend as much quality time with them... it is a pacifier, not unlike television was a generation ago.
I could go on and on! sorry. All good points here.
Yes, everytime we've tried to cut off screen time for our 17 y.o., we run into the issue of schools and teachers making it impossible.
The difference with television as a pacifier is that back in the 80s when I was watching countless hours of it as a latchkey child, there was very limited programming. Moreover, the programming that existed occupied a space of shared cultural norms and values. There were plenty of things wrong with some of what I watched, but it was relatively "safe" for children unlike today's unfettered internet.
You mentioned auto erotic asphyxiation later in your comments but you conclude that it only applies to men. While the phenomenon may be more common in men, it exists in women as well.
My husband's college girlfriend asked to be choked. They were both sexually inexperienced at the time, but she requested it because holding her breathe when masturbating helped trigger her orgasms. They were in college in the early 90s, long before choking became popular in porn. This is of course purely anecdotal, but it's more plausible that a minority of women are sexually aroused by choking than the assertion that choking is solely a porn phenomenon and no women seek it out on their own.
I have really only heard of it before in men, but yeah... I am sure it is possible that a small number of women ALSO do this.
Unfortunately bad ideas spread fast. However, I think most people who try this, got the idea from porn.
I think you're right. I also hope the women who try it because of porn and don't gain erotic satisfaction from it refrain or refuse it in future. Personally, if anyone tried to choke me regardless of context, I'd start kicking and punching like my life depended on it!
I wish, but I think at this point it is a fad... so much sexual behavior of the last 40 years or so, is related to fads in pornography! they filter down through society until you have middle school girls doing things that used to be done only by hardened prostitutes or porn actresses.
It seems like every decade or so, the standard gets ramped up... so that it filters down through first adults viewing the porn, then to young people and then to teens, high schools, middle schools and so on... remember that today, with smartphones, even elementary school age children see porn... I believe studies say by 7 or 8 years old.
If you see this at 8 in 3rd grade, and this is your introduction to sex... rough stuff, choking, etc.... will you come to see that as a normal expression of sexuality? vs. a kink? without the maturity to realize how dangerous it could be?
Like you said, I would refuse it and be angry if anyone tried it. But Im a mature adult. Would a naive kid or teenager be able to set healthy boundaries around this kind of sexual behavior?
I have 3 children ranging in age from 7 to 17. From my vantage point, the refusal of teens to seek out romantic relationships is just as serious a concern. It's the flip side of becoming sexually blase from porn consumption. Whether porn consumption pushes a teen in one direction or the other probably comes down to personality and upbringing - unfortunately, both paths are bad.
What you say, and it is a source of grief to me... I see young women especially who appear disinterested in dating (and here I mean straight heterosexual identifying girls) because the culture is so ANTI romantic and it is treated almost like a loserish behavior to want conventional dating. Kids seem to just hangout and engage in what is referred to as hook up sex.... yes, they are blasé and I think it stems from very early introduction to porn.
It cannot be overstated the degree to which young people (say, under 25 or GenZ) have grown up with smartphones and instant access to things like 24/7 pornography. Many parents are in total denial of this; in fact when I suggest that maybe a 7 year old doesn't need their own iPhone... it is ME who gets the stink eye and reminders that if kids do not have smartphones, they wont succeed at school or get high tech jobs as adults (!).
But in fact, it is NOT doing that (preparing kids for high tech) but is a gateway into stuff that no 2nd or 3rd grader should EVER see. And it is not just sexual things, it is also disgusting violent stuff.... recently, I was told by a middle schooler about a video online (since taken down) of a man stuffing a kitten into a garbage disposal.
With the recent issues over Pride parades... many parents objected to the nudity and erotic displays in a public parade, and the DEFENDERS said that :: well it is OK because little kids SEE WORSE STUFF EVERY DAY ON THEIR PHONES and are already aware of sexuality, nudity, erotic dancing, twerking ::.... so a segment of our society is not merely OK with this, but thinks it is a good thing.
<< face palm >>
When I wrote about the refusal to seek romantic relationships, I meant that my oldest children seem to be on their way to becoming voluntary celibates (volcels??) rather than that they are separating romance from sex.
We finally gave our middle child a phone when she turned 13 last year. This meant her 16 y.o. brother got his first smart phone then as well. It sounds ok until you realize the 16 y.o. hadn't requested a phone because he was already online all the time because of his computer use. ☹
In retrospect, I should have pushed harder and placed strict limitations on screen time with our older children. We're trying to do better with our youngest, but of course, she's been asking for a phone since she was 5. 🤦🏻♀️
That is even worse than I thought but yeah, I can see it. I do see my grandkids (who are ages 19 and 21) doing some of this. They dont have the interest in dating that I had at that age, nor even their parents. They are far more involved in social media and video gaming... they have zero interest in outdoor activities, sports, hiking/camping but prefer to stay indoors on screens. They were like this even at 6 or 7 years old.
It is really almost impossible to deny kids phones starting in middle school, because the SCHOOLS (after banning phones for years) decided to go whole hog into having homework and class information ALL on the phone and nowhere else. Without a phone, you would be unable to do homework, upload it or download instructions, calendars, etc. The teachers have bought into this 1000%.
This means every kid has a phone on them IN CLASS all the time, so they can text and look at ... whatever, right in class. Nobody stops them. They can also take photos and videos, very surreptitiously... which has many problems, including sexting.
And most parents buy right into this, as they are equally addicted to THEIR phones. If the children have phones, then the parents dont have to spend as much quality time with them... it is a pacifier, not unlike television was a generation ago.
I could go on and on! sorry. All good points here.
Yes, everytime we've tried to cut off screen time for our 17 y.o., we run into the issue of schools and teachers making it impossible.
The difference with television as a pacifier is that back in the 80s when I was watching countless hours of it as a latchkey child, there was very limited programming. Moreover, the programming that existed occupied a space of shared cultural norms and values. There were plenty of things wrong with some of what I watched, but it was relatively "safe" for children unlike today's unfettered internet.